Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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