just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
