then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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