I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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