why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize