Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Bring me that man meat
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
