I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
