He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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