You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
