I need help removing her.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
