that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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