I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
