Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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