with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
