What did we do last night that was yellow?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
