she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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