You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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