Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
