Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You were trust falling into bushes
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
