Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
