and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
