Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she smelled like a LAN party
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
