what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
