Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
