no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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