It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
