This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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