Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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