didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
