why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
