Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
