Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize