there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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