We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
