you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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