Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
