.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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