I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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