Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Come on in and take your pants off
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