I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
