I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
