the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
