in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
