I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
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Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
