it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
