no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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