Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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