I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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