Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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