Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
