JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
