the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need water and some morals
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
