Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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