I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
