; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
