so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
