There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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