Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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