I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
