She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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