this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
