I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
