yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
