You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
