obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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