Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My dick has a subreddit
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
