i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
