omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my being single is dangerous.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
