Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
