She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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