So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
