this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's just like the Real World with babies
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize