Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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